these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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