RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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