you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
