Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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