My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
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I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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