so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
