Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
