On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
