Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
