you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
