If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
