the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
