bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you win again, gameday.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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