i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
