yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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