How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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