i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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