i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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