bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize