Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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