I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
