Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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