I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
