You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
