I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
