I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
