so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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