Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
