Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
