i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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