Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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