Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
