arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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