so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sober January is a disaster.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
