that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
