Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
