I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
