She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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