he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
