I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
