He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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