is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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