So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
