Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
