oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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