I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
