So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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