Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
