maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
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I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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