Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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