you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
