In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
