she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I smell like Dick and happiness
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