A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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