Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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