420 ftw
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
