my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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