Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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