i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
