I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
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I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
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You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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