we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
