So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
