How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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