How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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