Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
