Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
