what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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